If you are looking for the “perfect” mate, then you are doomed to fail. No one is perfect, and no one is going to fulfill your every desire.
If you do find someone who lights your fire, remember that the crazy-in-love feeling new couples have, no matter how strong initially, is going to fade at around the two-year mark.
So if you are looking for a strong, lasting relationship, you need to look for someone with certain enduring character attributes. Here are the top 4:
1. Integrity
In the first flush of love, it’s easy to overlook some flaws, like poor table manners or bad taste in shirts. Although irritating, these are small things, so once you come out of the love fog, you can deal with them.
Lack of integrity is not something that can be overlooked or sugar- coated. If your prospective mate doesn’t have a strong sense of morality and honesty, then the relationship cannot be a healthy one, and you will most likely end up hurt and disillusioned.
Trust develops when integrity is present.
2. Positivity
When a person has a positive outlook, it doesn’t mean that he has to be an over-the-top cheerleader, ‘rah rahing’ you through all of life’s difficulties.
It is absolutely imperative that you chose someone with an appreciation of life’s possibilities and the internal resources to get through bad times. During a crisis, having someone with a “can do” attitude does make all the difference.
3. High Self-Esteem
If you have a partner who doesn’t love themself, they’re not going to be able to love you the way that you deserve. While you certainly don’t want to be with an egotist, you do want someone with self-respect who knows he is worthwhile.
They’re’ll be able to meet your emotional needs if they are emotionally healthy. Otherwise, you risk being linked with a depressed personality without enough emotional energy to fully participate in a relationship.
4. Maturity
A mature person can still be a fun individual, but fun individuals that are also able to keep their promises, pay bills on time, and meet their obligations. If you attach yourself to an immature personality, you’ll be stuck taking care of them and the responsibilities they disregard. You may also end up consulting an attorney in a family law office when creditors sue you both. That’s a lifestyle you do not want to choose.
These are just four attributes you want to look for in a potential mate. Do not risk getting involved with someone who doesn’t have these characteristics. Once you’re emotionally hooked, it’s hard to get free from the relationship.
Choose wisely, and when the wild infatuation ends, you’ll still be with someone you love and admire 🙂
Hannah is a freelance writer from Sacramento, California. A mother of two, she enjoys writing on blogs of all niches and recommends a family law office if there are bumps in the road of your relationship. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.
This post was originally featured in FinerMinds
